Classic cheap curry consumed cheerfully
For most Londoners, Tayyabs needs no introduction. Away from the tourist trap that is Brick Lane, this Whitechapel stalwart has been serving up inexpensive, quality curries and grills for years. A lot of words have already been written about Tayyabs, so rather than my usual prose I’m going to experiment by writing this review in haiku – the terse but evocative form of Japanese poetry.
Before you snort with derision, click away and mutter ‘pretentious wanker’ under your breath, I fully admit that my poetic ability is miniscule. Plus it hasn’t gotten any better since I attempted to use it for wooing back when I was studying GCSE English. My already concise, almost pithy style lends itself to faux-haiku; plus it’s all for fun innit.
Inattentive waiters
Plenty of tables
But not for you
Awkward elbows
Empty downstairs Tayyabs
Lamb chops
Sizzling crackle
Fruity baste
Tender and slightly chewy
Smoke sweetens the air
lamb chops at Tayyabs
Haleem
Scattering of lentils
Promised lamb has scarpered
Lemons?
Thick, unctuous and creamy like your mum
haleem (allegedly) at Tayyabs
Roti
Thick and fluffy
A little chewy
Sauce sponge
roti at Tayyabs
Dry meat
If this is small, what is big
No sauce, but still moist
Earthy and garlicky
Dense yet tender like your mum
small dry beef at Tayyabs
Okra
Moist fingers
Properly cooked
So not sticky like your bedsheets
Already forgotten
okra at Tayyabs
Pumpkin masala
Yielding flesh
Glistens in the sun
Tart not sweet
Confused disappointment
pumpkin at Tayyabs
Kheer
Thick rice pudding
Cardamom and cashew
Like this island chilly and small
Gulped in a flash
kheer rice pudding at Tayyabs
Mango lassi
Refreshing fruitiness
Thin not thick
By the glass or by the jug
Clink
mango lassi at Tayyabs
The Verdict
Wait you must
Meat not veg
Heavy wallet
Bulging belly
Smelly pores
Happy times
Name: Tayyabs
Address: 83-89 Fieldgate Street, Whitechapel, London E1 1JU
Phone: 020 7247 9543 / 020 7247 6400 / 020 7247 8521
Web: http://tayyabs.co.uk
Opening Hours: seven days a week noon-23.30.
Reservations: essential.
Average cost for one person including service and soft drinks when shared between two: £20 approx.
Rating: ★★★☆☆
The Picky Glutton 
Ate at Tayyabs last Sunday, February 22 … not very friendly staff; uninspiring dishes to be honest; rather tasteless; many places serve better food; living on past reputation.
Haha. I loved this review. “tender, like your mum” excellent. To oppose the comment above, I ate there on the weekend and it was brilliant – couldn’t fault it. I’ve had friends comment that they’ve had some unfriendly staff though so maybe it’s a bit hit and miss re service. It just got a nod on this ‘best places to eat in London’ food map http://www.discount-london.com/tastesoflondon.htm so it’s gotta be doing something right surely?!
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