What is this? Who are you?

The short version: I love restaurants – read my words about restaurants.

The longer version:

I am The Picky Glutton and this is my restaurant reviews blog where I aim to review every restaurant I dine at. Whether it’s at home in London or farther afield, whether it serves up Michelin-starred haute cuisine or more humble, down to earth grub, if it’s a restaurant then I will tell you whether, in my considered opinion, it’s worth going to.

I’m passionate about eating out since I have grown up around restaurants all my life thanks to my catering-trade family and frequent business lunches at my day job.

With so many places to eat, the last place you want to go is somewhere deeply disappointing or, perhaps even worse, somewhere forgettably mediocre and yawningly average. To help you out, I will endeavour to finish each review with a firm recommendation either way and a rating out of 5.

What are your ratings?

In ascending order:

1. Insultingly bad.
2. Poor. Must try harder.
3. Adequate. You’ll barely remember it a month from now.
4. Good. Not flawless, but I’ll be back anyway.
5. Exceptional.

No rating system is perfect, but at least this one is easy to understand and doesn’t split hairs like some ratings systems (like rating out of ten or percentage point ratings). What criteria is each restaurant judged on?

• Decor and ambience
• Service
• The Food
• Price/value

Different weightings will be applied to each category depending on the restaurant in question. For example, more emphasis will be placed on Decor and Service in a sparkling haute cuisine restaurant than in a modest, neighbourhood brasserie or bistro.

What’s with all the funny names in your reviews?

I dine anonymously. I don’t seek out special treatment since I want to experience what the average customer would experience at each restaurant I go to. As a result I rarely accept free meals from restaurants and when I do, this will be stated in bold at the top of the review.

Since I dine anonymously, my dining companions also get pseudonyms. There’s the Euro Hedgie, The Flame Haired Squelchie, The Lensman, The Jolly Giant, Wicket, The Squinting Brummie, The Prancing Hippy and many more.

Booze! I love booze, I do oh yes I do, but you never mention it in your reviews!

That’s because I don’t drink. Although this means I’m well-placed to tell how over-priced a glass of Coke is, I’ll need the help and opinion of a dining companion when it comes to the plonk. Unfortunately, such a companion may not always be present, so if you’re an alky you may sometimes be disappointed.

How do I find stuff then?

There’s a sidebar running down the righthand side of the website. Click on the type of cuisine or star rating to get started – the ★★★★★ and ★★★★☆ categories are good places to get started. Alternatively, type a keyword like a restaurant name into the Search box at the top of the page.

There’s also my restaurants map so you can find restaurants in your part of London and certain other cities.

You don’t like my favourite restaurant! I hate you! You suck! A *@#$%^ plague upon you and your house!

My unfavourable opinion doesn’t and shouldn’t stop anyone who doesn’t share that opinion from continuing to enjoy the restaurant in question. If you want a second opinion, click on the Urbanspoon logo at the bottom of every review for a different take.

I state my opinions boldly and I make no qualms about doing so. If you really dislike what I write, feel free to leave a comment and I hope you find a restaurant reviews blog you do like. Please be polite though – I will simply delete any obscenity-laden or obviously trollish comments. If you’re rude, overly defensive and huffy then I’ll still reply, but with a disproportionate amount of civility and rationality.

Happy eating!

– TPG

Update 17/10/2012 – rewrote the About page to make it a little less staid and to remove all the instances where I referred to myself in the third person (because that was f***ing creepy).